There is SO too much going on in my head right now.

And it's making it very difficult to finish anything.

I mean, I know I come in here with writing problems every couple of weeks, and I make them seem major, but this one just slays me because, well . . . I mean, everyone has That One Story: the one that's been on your mind forever and that you need to write someday even if it kills you. Even if it just a story purely for you that you doubt anyone else would care two cents about reading.

See, the worst thing has happened: the story I've been trying to figure out for the last six or so years of my life just decided to make perfect sense - only, naturally, I am in the middle of so many other projects right now (Camp NaNo, TGoES, TH: Skyborn) that I'd feel like a total jerk for dropping them all for this. And I'm so changeable when it comes to what I'm working on, I'm a little doubtful about haphazardly throwing myself behind something that, to me, is a very important story that is going to need a lot of my time.  

But at the same time, I feel like I need to drop everything. At least for a couple of weeks.

The thing is, I started this one story years back called Until the End of Colin Ackartt (now that I check, it's #6 on The Bucket List), and all I had were the characters (so vivid in my mind that I could not ignore them) and such a vague idea of a plot that it literally was incomprehensible. The whole idea verged on the notion that the title character, Colin, just . . . should not have existed. And I mean in a metaphysical/existential/order of the universe extent. And that he was near to just totally disappearing. But I did not know what he was, why this was happening to him, how he had come to exist in such a unstable state in the first place, or what he and the other characters were going to do to save him. But I had the atmosphere and there were scenes in my head and I knew how it ended. Elaina, the FMC of the piece, was and is still my favorite character I've ever come up with. The story was just so out there and missing so many pieces, though, that beyond a few scenes I could not possibility write it and feel right about it. It wasn't a story. It was this disjointed, dream-like scenario. 

(I nearly choked a few years back when I found a book that was similar in subject matter/surreal-ness called Frozen Fire by Tim Bowler. Like the story I was trying to write, few answers were given concerning the nature of the strange boy that the main character meets.)

Then, about two nights ago, I was playing with a plot in my head that I had no intention of actually writing - it was just a mental exercise, like, "OK, what if I wrote this kind of story, with this scenario? How would I do it?" And I thought pretty far into it - the setting, the main characters, the initial few chapters - until it hit me in the face that this was my story. I honestly leapt out of bed. If I dropped Colin, Elaina and crew in, and looked at it from the perspective of UtEoCA - well darn, it suddenly made perfect sense. I mean, it was still surreal and out there and everything, and there were still things that would be unexplainable - but it was a purposeful kind of unexplainable. And the whole story, beginning to end, was just there. I talk about wanting to have just a skeleton of an outline when I start a story, and with this all the bones for UtEoCA just fell in my lap. After I had been trying to figure out how to get from point A to point B with this thing for years. 

Anyway, I guess this is just something I needed to get off my chest. I still plan on doing Camp NaNo in April, because NaNo events are like long writing festivals for me, but if I'm scarcely seen at Figment for a while, this is probably why. I'm just . . . very happy and anxious about this story. 

OH almost forgot - on the subject of the much celebrated notebook from my last post, I've decided to hand-write my Camp NaNo story in it. Last November revealed to me that NaNo goes a lot smoother if I can just carry a notebook around with me.

Mwahaha New Post

(Maybe I'll get the hang of this again?)

I went out and bought a new notebook yesterday - just one of those standard 70-sheet college rule ones. I'm pretty sure if I could be bothered to open a couple drawers, I'd find that I have a stash of them, but I'm kinda of  (read: definitely) a nut for office supplies. I could spend all my money on pens, and anyway for me there's this spiritual aspect of going out and buying a notebook for a specific purpose. (Seriously. Me and office supplies. Don't even let me start.)

See, before I had a computer - or at least before I had one that didn't sound like a race car when I turned it on - I wrote notebook-long stories. That actually got finished. That were all in one place and not scattered across files and loose sheets. So yesterday I arbitrarily decided that I was going to buy a shiny new notebook and do that and who cares if I've already got like, three stories on Figment going that need attention and does it really matter that I have no idea what I'm going to write in said notebook, I'm sure something will happen once I start. (The God of Encloses Spaces though. That is going to get updated. Because it's my baby. And I'm almost done making my pretentious soundtrack for it.)

I don't know what it is. The last few months I've felt a bit stagnant, writing-wise. (I think I have a new writing crisis every other month, but this one's been the prevailing one.) My composition books are full-up with story snippets and scraps and beginnings that stop three paragraphs in. I think I really do need to just fill up a notebook with a story, any story. Maybe have my own little NaNo, only measured in pages instead of words because I need baby steps.

I love this box. Teddy bears.

ALRIGHT, SO SERIOUS WRITING BUSINESS ASIDE - What else is going on with my life? I don't know. I'm job-hunting, but it's not going too hot since I don't have easy access to a car and most of the jobs are at least 30 miles away. Waiting for college acceptance letters. Fangirl-ing about stuff (finally made myself finish Cowboy Bebop last night - I'm now having a serious case of emotions). After a long hiatus (it was hot chocolate season) I've resumed collecting tea.

Oh, I'm planning a surprise party, which I'm super-excited about. I've never thrown, attended, or been surprised by one, but my best friend called me up a few weeks ago and declared that since our friend always throws his own parties, we should get the jump on him this year. And apparently someone is dressing up like Slender Man? We've told the birthday boy it's just one of our usual horror movie days, so I guess it kind of fits . . . Slender Man though. Oy vey.

Still Alive. Honestly.

Alright, so keeping a consistent journal/blog/etc has never been exactly my thing. I started keeping a diary once in middle school, wrote at least once a week for a while . . . and then it turned into about twice a year. Which resulted in these really, really long entries that were basically a breeze over of all the significant events that I could remember at the time. But, anyway.

Right now The God of Enclosed Spaces is getting top priority, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going continue the version that's up on Figment right now. I think it might actually end up being the prologue to the actual story, though chronologically some of the chapters might be set during the main story . . . (this always happens to me, by the way: I right a story and then realize too late that I've totally botched the chronology, so I decide that I just couldn't care less about time and the natural order of things so I jump around to my heart's content, to be edited later). See, 'cause the main story, I think, is going to be lot more focused on what is presently skulking around the Anderson woods and upsetting the local wildlife - and the identity of the entity (oh, that phrase was fun to write) is intrinsically tied to not just Mackenzie, but to Oscar Valentine, Sabrina Andrews, and the events on which their film Orithea Town was based. But to say any more would be spoilerific, and I don't know if anyone wants that.

I've been warning, anyhow, that in all likelihood whatever chapters come out in the near future are going to be vignettes, because I'm still having a lot of fun fleshing out Mac and Flan and their relationship, and sometimes I just want to write about what happened that one time they were at the beach, or that one time Mac adopted a cat, and so on. But I did say at the beginning it was a slice-of-life deal, so really that just fits in with the project from the start.

Now, I will attempt to post again sometime this month. :)

I'm Totally Still Alive

So . . . I won NaNo, so that means I'm probably going to be getting back to a regular blog/Figment schedule at some point in the very near future. You know, after Christmas decorating is done (tree goes up tomorrow!). My final word count was 50,783 - not that the story on Figment reflects that in the slightest. Some crazy business went down, and I ended up handwriting most of it in panicked bursts at nine o' clock at night.

Anyways, I'm also in the middle of Christmas shopping, which at the moment amounts to frantic price comparisons of Xbox 360s and PS Vita's.

Pines

Or, "Why the New A Fine Frenzy Album Is Forever Endeared to Me Even Though I Have Not Yet Listened to It."

I WILL get this. Soon, hopefully.

Honestly, I think I need to start a running tally of what has become endeared to me this October, because I feel like it's going to be one of those seasons. Those ridiculous perfect storms of writing where stuff just starts popping left and right. Which I suppose for Wonderfall is fitting, because epiphanies are kind of magical in their own way. But, really now? First Lowe's and now a CD I haven't even heard. Which I want. Because A Fine Frenzy's stuff is like, "Magical Realism, The Music." I'm playing the first album right now, and "Borrowed Time" and "Rangers" are on my Wonderfall playlist.

Anyway, why Pines? This morning I was sitting at the dining room table, trying to refine Wonderfall's plot because I had fallen into one of my regular pitfalls: overcomplicating things. It wasn't that the story had too much going on, it was that it had too much going on for the tone I'm aiming for, so I was either trying to pare it down or reframe it. Things were going uncharacteristically well, actually - I had adjusted the plot so basically the same things were going on, but in a different context. I was working on character motivations, then - what Elias, Lorelei, and Connor each really wanted, and what the antagonist (ostensibly not a real villain this time) wanted. It was taking so long to come up with that I stopped thinking about it after a while, and moved on to other things.

Now, part of the problem that arises in the story is that Connor and the antagonist want close to the same thing, though not exactly. I knew what Connor wanted, but the antagonist's motives were still vague. I knew he or she wanted an event called "Wonderfall" to occur for a specific purpose, whereas Connor was just waiting for Wonderfall for the sake of it. The question was, what specific thing did the antagonist want Wonderfall for?

Later on, I got up to make toast, mulling it over, when it hit me. The thought process looked like this, though of course the details aren't really that simple. Um, SLIGHT VAGUE KINDA SPOILERS:

Haha, spoilers, yeah, I guess. A magical garden is in some way involved. But anyway, what the antagonist is going for versus what everyone else in the story wants just fit so perfectly with the tone. And then I just fell in love with the story all over again. Plus, I did want to keep the story a bit on the shorter side, by my standards, and the garden idea made a bunch of things fall into place.

*Sigh* I do love October. 

In Which I Discuss the Perils of Planning Stuff

Cut to October 31, 2011. I know what my plot is. I know who my characters are. I am ready to get stuff written. Planned stuff. The plot I've (kind of) slaved over for basically the whole month.

Then November 1st happened and all that kind of just melted and slithered down the drain as I barreled blindly forth with the rough equivalent of my plot's deformed half-sibling. I don't even remember for sure what the original plot entailed, but I'm pretty sure the title (Dark Horse) was the only thing that remained entirely intact.

This is the NaNoWriMo strain of plot ADD. Dozens of ideas flutter around my head all October, I stalwartly keep focus on one of them, and then some invisible force slams in on NaNo Eve and, well, "Goodbye, focus! It was nice seeing you! We'll have to do this again sometime! Like, next October!"

Now, frankly, I don't think that will happen this year. I'm all, like emotionally invested this time around. Wonderfall (which is based on my poems found here) is my new adopted child, and I love it, and it gives me seizures when I think too hard about it but I ignore those, eat some chocolate, and plan it anyway. There's this nifty article here in which, I kid you not, the Incredible Hulk totally curb-stomps the Three Act story structure in favor of Shakespeare's five acts, and I used it to draw Wonderfall into a modified six act version. It's the most outlining I've done in a year, and I'm going to do more.

See, this year I'm finally employing the Psycho Person Notebook technique, in which I stuff I comp book completely full with outlining and character bios and random writing resources I printed off the Internet. It's working wonders for me, truly. But there are still kinks to be worked out.

Like POINT OF VIEW. THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

We do battle every year. I'm pretty sure I wrote an epic forum post about it last year and everything.

Anyway, Wonderfall has three protagonists: Elias, Connor, and Lorelei, the latter of which is our wonderfall girl. And if you hopped on over to Figment and read the poem, you know she doesn't stay long. Except, we still need to know what she's up to. So naturally, I think, well, we'll do third person limited - then we can go around to Eli and Connie and her and know what's what. Except that, when Elias (arguably the true main character) first burst into existence, it was in the form of a first person and pretty badass opening monologue-type thing. And Lore, bless her, had a very Lore-like second chapter too. But I can't get a handle on how Connor would sound in first person, I'm sketch about attempting two male point of view characters when I've never even done one for any length of time, and I'm frankly not a huge fan of rotating point of views to begin with.

So, I say, "OK, so third-person limited it is." Except I still kind of want to write Elias. I hear him talking. Only, I can't just write Elias, because then how on earth would he know what Connor and Lore were secretly getting themselves into. Grr.

And then, I'm still working on character motivations, which of their flaws to haunt them with, and all that good writerly stuff. I'm doing fine with that. I know Elias is going to be put on the spot for how he's always avoiding drama at the cost of ignoring important issues, and Connor's going to be selfish and ignore how he's been pretty distant lately and call Elias out on it. Stuff like that. It's just, depending on the point of view, certain things are going to be highlighted more than others.

Oh, the joys of NaNo planning. Now, I'm off to go find some rubber cement, because stick glue doesn't cut it when pasting things into a notebook.

Writing Revelations, and Other Fun Things to Do With Home Improvement

(Long story.)

So, I forgot to mention this in my last post (it was late, I was half asleep, etc.), but the local Lowe's is pretty much endeared to me forever.

The genre wars are still raging, as far as my NaNo is concerned, but yesterday I had one of those little writing epiphanies we all know and love and kind of get desperate waiting for. Now, I had already been to a different Lowe's and a Home Depot in the last couple of days, and when I walked into this new store I wasn't particularly impressed.

This, x1000.

I'm silly. I judge most stores by what music they're playing and how bright it is, and this Lowe's was bright enough, but they were playing this mainstream hip-hop/pop station - and a song I really don't like, no less. I am not a big hip-hop person, and Home Depot had already wowed me with a rock station that played some of my old favorites I'd forgotten existed. So, I was inwardly cringing at the music and getting sidetracked taking in the sheer number of different bathroom faucet fixtures they had on display.

Also, I was doing what I always do when I'm out shopping: imagining story characters. What they would do if they were here, why would they be here, what story am I putting them in, again? That sort of thing. I'm of the "voices in my head" and "hallucinations" writing set, and I take my characters everywhere. It makes trips less boring.

This is important
later.

As I wandered toward my actual destination (flooring, by the way), I was thinking about the aforementioned cyberpunk plot's characters. It's this trio of friends, and I was pondering the group dynamic (especially the sorta-romance between two of them), and how the girl is kind of the mystery. She's the one that's going to get the plot in motion, get into the weird stuff, generally be obfuscating. Because she's hard for me to get my head around, and sometimes I attribute that sort of thing to an actual character trait.

The thing is, with the plot in general, I was having a real hard time getting it squished into something I felt capable of writing. I wanted a story slightly less out of control than my Camp NaNo project, and the cyberpunk plot? Totally insane, over-the-top madness in my head.

Then, Lowe's came through. Bless its heart. I'm staring up at this huge contraption draped with laminate samples, and it's been ages since the last time I heard the song, when here comes the opening lines - I need a sign to let me know you're here / all of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere. "Calling All Angels" by Train, right? No big deal.

Except, in my head, it's like, "OHMYGOODNESS IT'S NOT CYBERPUNK AT ALL IT'S MAGICAL REALISM AND THE SONG'S LIKE, ELIAS TALKING TO LORE!"

Cue a torrent of mental images I have yet to sort through. It involved what was definitely not ghosts, but perhaps something similar. My mind blown, I continue to stare up at the laminate.

So, yeah, suddenly my crazy cyberpunk characters are plopped into my beloved home genre. Which is kind of great, because they're the kind of people I wouldn't expect to find there, and I'm excited to see how they fit in.

Another odd thing about me and writing - all my ideas come with color schemes. Swatches of color are intrinsically tied to the atmosphere I feel off any one story, so this one had this really light, white/bright color/mid-morning sun vibe along with some grittiness that Elias brings in.

And that, friends, is what I've been spazzing about for the last day or so.

Genres . . . And I went to the library today!

I've backed away from considering NaNo plots at this point. It's dangerous, and I foresee tentacled monstrosities, born from too many ideas melding together at once, seeking vengeance against me for their mangled state.

So, instead, I'm contemplating genres. What I feel like writing. Atmosphere, etc.

The candidates thus far are:

• Magical Realism
• Eerie Urban Fantasy (as reflected by my current novel synopsis)
• Cyberpunk (of the over-the-top-stylized-don't-take-this-seriously action variety)

The last two actually have plot ideas tied to them. As for magical realism, I just have characters in mind. I'm kind of reading up on magical realism at this point, as I ponder. It would definitely be a much more subtle story than the other two genre options. But in all honesty, I think it's just going to come down to what story's screaming at me the loudest come the last week of October.

Oh, yes, and my library winnings. 

I checked out:

• Neuromancer by William Gibson
• Zodiac by Neal Stephenson
• Embassytown by China Mieville
• Writing the Paranormal Novel by Steven Harper
• and Between the Lines: Master the Subtle Elements of Fiction Writing by Jessica Page Morrell

And from the book sale I bought The Devil In The White City by Erik Larson, and The Irish Game by Matthew Hart for fifty cents each. 

October, and More Panic Ensues

Oh my goodness. I just. Gah. Welcome to the month before NaNoWrimo.

There's just so much to do - we've got a relaunch coming up, which means updating novel info and writing novel info and possibly planning a novel and, crazy idea, maybe even coming up with a novel.

I love this season, and I hate this season, for the same reason: it makes me want to drop everything and start gearing up for November. Of course, there's Figment and skyborn and stuff to work on. Blog entries to write. That sort of thing. But I would rather be throwing myself into NaNo.

In fact, I'm just kind of insanely driven to write, period. Only, not on any of the plots I'm already working on. I set up another tumblr last night just so I could spit out all the random quote and streams of concious and random scenes I have flowing through my head that have nothing to do with anything. Who knows - some of the poetry's almost coherent enough to post on Figment.

All in all, I'm just a mess right now. I should really go work on something.

Writing Bucket List

You have one, don't you? It's composed of all those story ideas or concepts that you absolutely love and always swear to yourself that you're going to write someday. 

(That quote "If not now, when?" comes to mind, but that's an entirely different and horrifying topic in and of itself.)

I've recently decided to challenge myself and write down the bucket list in a organized collection, containing everything I know about each idea. It's going to be a page on this blog. Then, whenever I miraculously have nothing to work on (ha - hahahahaha. ha.), or whenever I'm strapped for an idea for NaNo or Camp or something, I'm going to look at that list and sincerely try to write one of the items. Because frankly, the items on the list terrify me. They're the ideas I don't use because I don't think I'll ever be able to do them justice, for whatever reason. Each one is so perfect in my head that I figure if I put it down on paper it will shrivel up and die.

Either that, or they're lovely ideas except that they're missing something crucial. Like a conflict. Or a main character.

Anyway ("anyway" - one of my favorite words that I use too often), I just thought I needed to challenge myself to accomplish something, even if that something is only evaluating other challenges. I'm in a mucky limbo between school and a job and more school, so I'm feeling rather unmotivated. And it's been a long time since I completed a longer writing project. Just look at my current projects page. It's swimming with stuff I need to update more.

Blah. The only way to bring a muse back is to write until she decides to show back up, I suppose.

NaNo Spasms . . .

I have the variety that's like . . . "HEY NANO'S A MONTH AWAY BUT HERE'S A STORY IDEA YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO START RIGHT NOW. BUT NO, YOU MUST WAIT, AND WRITE IT FOR NANO AND HOPEFULLY YOU'LL STILL BE AS ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT AS YOU ARE NOW."

*cries*

But, goodness if I'm not swamped with Figment and the book I'm blogging with a friend. So, the idea will have to wait. Besides, I start getting ideas for NaNo in June, most times, and this year I had the pleasure of exorcising one of them during Camp. It's really just a case of what's the latest idea I've fallen in love with once October 31st rolls around. It's plot ADD, people.

Anyway, the idea that has most lately attacked me is about a band of rogue grim reapers mysteriously sending people off before their date of death, at first only seconds early. Then minutes. And then the FMC is targeted a whole whopping eight months before she's supposed to die, and a pair of reapers who are still on the straight-and-narrow intervene. Cue a quest to figure out why people are being reaped early, and who exactly is behind it.

It was one of those ideas where I could immediately hear each of the three main characters in my head, so it's going to be a hard idea to let go of. I guess I'll just have to see what happens.

Camp Aftermath

I will try to post more. Promise. But Camp NaNo just . . . made me forget I even had a writing blog to come home to. Funny how that happens.

I won, anyway - several days early. It's just this business of managing my Figment account and figuring out what to write next that has me totally swamped.

Note to Self (and an Excerpt!)

Don't start a blog right before a NaNo event. You will forget the blog exists.

Anyway, I think I'll try to finish camp today. Current Word Count: 45,611

Yep. This is definitely the best I've ever done - especially since the story is half-way coherent. If that's not an accomplishment, then I surely don't know what is.

Here's a brief excerpt, before I go get to work.

       “So you went down to Unverified Reports and fetched the binder?” he asked.

She nodded. “She asked me to get them, right after you left. But I made copies before I brought them to her, and I hid them. That was wrong of me too, I guess, and I should have given them to someone right away, but Mr. Mailer was always so nice and I thought I could trust him. Only, once I saw that you were here I thought, well, of course you would have already given him copies, and so, I think . . . Oh, she will fire me won’t she – and if she doesn’t she might lose her job, and I will be unemployed all the same!”

“Hush now,” he said, patting her knee awkwardly, “I’m sure some other department would take you in. Secretaries are a versatile position.”

Margot sniffled. “You’re a very kind man, Mr. Crosswhite. Very kind indeed. I’m so sorry to have caused you trouble tonight – I know you have very important things to talk about with Mr. Mailer, and I’m – I’m quite distracting you, aren’t I? Oh dear . . .”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” he continued to insist softly, still playing with the glass and hoping she would stop crying soon so they could get back to the dining room before anyone suspected anything. But damn it, they would be able to tell by her eyes that she had been crying. He would have to make sure she went and washed her face or something. Lord, he hoped she wasn’t wearing anything on her eyes – mascara or whatever. 

“Is there anything else you can tell me about Ms. Boswell or the Loughford documents?” he asked.

Margot sniffled again, but she wasn’t ducking her head as much, and seemed to have at least stopped shaking. “She called a number of people after you left . . . If she really – if this was really some sort of cover-up, or something . . . I don’t think she was doing it, hiding them, all on her own. I think someone – not you of course, Mr. Crosswhite, or else you wouldn’t be helping right now, I think – was tending to the researchers at Loughford. That is, making sure that their research did not get to anyone else. I think . . . or, poor, poor Mr. Landeck. I think they might have done something to him. These are dangerous people, I think, Mr. Crosswhite. You must be ever so careful.”

Mr. Landeck was Owen. 

“Do you know what happened to Mr. Landeck, Margot?” he asked. 

She shook her head. “But I know Ms. Boswell knows. That’s one of the things I heard her talking on the phone about. Oh, I didn’t know what to do. I should have said something. I should have done something. I was just so afraid. If they can make a director go away, then, then how much more for a secretary? And I was so dull, not knowing that something horrible was going on.”

Afraid that she was going to start sobbing, he gave her the glasses back and told her to go clean herself up and have some of Natalie’s dinner. She agreed, and once he had heard the hall powder room close, he joined the others, who were already well into the pot roast.

And so on.

Camp NaNo - Day 4

I stagger in to merely tell you that I am alive, and am three days ahead of schedule for Camp. It's a lovely feeling, but it's hot out and I feel very tired. Such is writing. And I'm not even done for today.

I rejoice in the fact that I have managed to wrangle a blue whale into the narrative. This will not be the last time. I'm also happy about how the story is developing a plot all on its own, with minimal input from me. I find this to be very considerate.

Word Count: 11,658

750 Words Continues to Be AMAZING

For some reason, it motivates me as much as Write or Die does, even though it's not threatening me with loud, unpleasant noises or electric shocks. I mean, it's 750 words, fast. What else does one need during a NaNo event?

But anyway. The details.

It's basically a motivator to write every day, with the very sweet and simple goal of 750 words. It gives you a space to write, a timer, and a word count, and sends you on your merry way. I suppose it's the mere fact that you're being timed - you develop this need to pump out words as quickly as possible. Everything you write is private. The web site keeps track of how much your write every day, and gives you points based on quantity and (I believe) consecutive days written, and whatnot. You get a score card and everything, and there are monthly challenges to participate in.

What amuses me the most is that the site also builds up statistics on what you write, based on what sorts of words you used. It will give your writing a rating, all movie-style (mine's just PG right now) based on violent or sexual words, or swear words you used. It tells you if you've been writing about death, or food, or family a lot, or if you're mostly positive or negative. And it will give you your averages compared to the site-wide average. So that's fun, plus all the typical averages like number of words and words-per-minute.

Oh, yes. There are also badges to win. Because, honestly, who doesn't like badges? Now, I kind of forget 750 Words during the NaNo off-season (shame on me) so I only have badges for joining, writing three days in a row, and writing five days in a row - but there are a ton of other nifty ones to get. The badges are based on birds, so you can aspire to penguins and a phoenix and what have you.

Anyway, if it's getting into the habit of writing that is giving you trouble, this is definitely a good site to try.

Camp NaNoWriMo, and Stuff.

Ah, so.

So far, so good. I've broken 2,000 words, which is usually my goal for Day One. And the words just sort of tumbled neatly onto the page, and the FMC, who, by the way, turned into this other girl named Daisy - stumbled neatly out of her house by the end of chapter one, and now we'll just see where she goes.

I'm trying to be quite particular about how I write this one. And by that I mean, I'm attempting to not be particular at all. I go somewhere quiet, turn on whatever music I feel will be helpful (A Fine Frenzy, so far) and make myself write stuff without thinking about it. Which means I make up words a lot, and come up with very strange names for things, but so far it's been producing things that I think are nifty enough. Also, I haven't seen what's coming, which is always fun.

I think Cassiopeia is destined to show up later. Daisy just happened, and I've actually known what her character's about for a while now, so her behavior isn't so erratic.

At some point, I plan on discussing specific writerly things, like plotting (which I'm not doing in this case, but still) and the like. And maybe what books I'm reading. However, Camp NaNo has thrown me off my blog mindset, so we'll just have to see what I scrounge up.

On that note, though, I got an order of books in the mail yesterday! Just finished one of them - Never Let Me Go, by Kazuo Ishiguro. Gorgeous book, but very sad. Everyone go read it, while I'm off to try to get the movie.

Dumb.

Camp NaNoWriMo.

I didn't even forget about it. It just totally slipped my mind that - hey - it's August. Wow.

Anyway, I should probably go get started on writing that book, but first . . . Camper Profiles!

[EDIT]: Hurrah! Profile/novel info/etc. done! Now I'm off to make coffee and prepare for the day, and hopefully start writing within the hour.

People in My Head

I've never really noticed this before, but when I'm coming up with characters - not particular ones, really, but just the odd fellow for a new story or drabble or what have you - the first two things I tend to come up with are a mental image of them, and how they move. Which is funny, because I've never given a second thought to how a character moves - it just comes about all unconscious-like, and I run with it.

Take, for example, the girl I'm going to drop onto the page tomorrow, who has since yesterday decided she's called Cassiopeia, possibly Opal for short. The very first thing I got of her was her hair (this whole two days, she's kind of been sending little snippets of herself to me), which is super-straight and shiny and copper-colored. It ripples over her shoulders and looks like melted amber when she runs. Then she's topped off by this grey beanie of hers, which looks like it ought to be old and threadbare and holey, only it's relatively new and rather soft. And well, there was my first impression of Opal. The rest just kept dropping into place.

She wears a heavy, army green canvas jacket. The collar is usually up. Underneath that is a long, close-fitting, long-sleeved black t-shirt. Dark skinny jeans, or some days denim shorts with black leggings (but that's mostly when she's hanging around the house). Shoes are usually what's closest to her door at the time - sneakers, sandals, boots. Whatever.

Her face is narrow. Very thin nose, eyes that look too big in her head. I'd say she's rather average-looking, in most cases, but then you see her from a certain angle or temperament or light, and she's lovely. It's that sort of off-prettiness. I think she looks at people sideways a lot - it might actually be kind of her trademark. 

After that, I just sort of see her moving. I don't think about it. But Opal's light on her feet. She doesn't really dance around though, instead moving swiftly in whatever direction she's headed. She doesn't flounce, unless she's being purposely flippant. I don't think that's very often. Her reflexes are quick. I have a very solid image of her spinning gracefully on her heel, fluidly pulling a handgun from where it's tucked at the small of her back.

And then, from all that, I sort of have a feeling of what she's like. I haven't though too purposefully about her personality, because it will just come to me as I get about telling her story. I know that when she smiles for photos she has this smug little smirk, and with her whole get-up she looks like a right little smart-arse, but when she smile-smiles it's very sweet and simple and warming. I know that she's says what she thinks and is very frank about things, but she's very physically contained - her hands at her sides or in her coat pockets. Everything about her says slender. But she laughs easily, just not loudly.

That would be my character creation process, on most days. For me it's pretty much the case that the character is already a person, somewhere, and myself as a writer just drew the lucky card of getting to meet her and figure her out. It's fun when they have mind of their own, after all. It's all about making the writing exciting, and it helps when you haven't a clue what your character is going to pull next.

I Complicate August Explicitly

I've decided I'm going for some sort of creative mind-journey cataclysm for my NaNo practice. The whole plotless/bizarro/surreal thing brought me to it. The thing about writing that has always scared me the most is that always-present author-fear that what I put down on paper will never measure up to what I imagined. Every writer deals with that, right? It just particularly irks me that I'm flooded by extremely vibrant images - just snapshots of impossible things like boys who fall through skylights and shatter into emeralds - and half the time I wish I was an artist/graphic designer/film maker so I could fashion it all out visually and not have to worry about it being logical/making a semblance of sense/spurring a plot development.

So, I figure I'll just go all out and conjure some lovely half-coherent adventure in which I infuse all that pent-up imagery into something I never meant to plot in the first place. It takes the pressure off. It excites me. And as a writer, if you're not excited you've lost something, and like a car key you have to find it again or you're not going anywhere. Unless you know how to hot-wire the thing, in which case you're probably going to be just fine.

Swimming Around "Other Genres"

I've been hanging out in the NaNoWriMo forums again. Ah, it's been such a long time. Not really. I lurk like nobody's business, I just haven't posted in a while. It seems like the only real activity is in the Fantasy forum, as per usual, anyway. Not that I don't love fantasy - just that most of what I've been writing lately is kind of on the ambiguous-genre-side.

(Yeah, that, or urban fantasy. Which is fantasy, sure, but more like magical realism when I write it.)

Anyway, I've kind of spontaneously decided to do a NaNo practice run in August. Which is the day after tomorrow. And further, I have also spontaneously decided that it's going to be plotless bizarro fiction BECAUSE IT CAN BE AND AT LEAST I WILL ENJOY IT. Also, these two characters just kind of happened, and even though they're not giving up much, I like them. And the charming blonde might just shatter into emeralds when under impact.

Huh.

(How's this for a first post? Totally ignoring the fact that it's a first post . . . And it's so short. )

Needless to say, this is going to be a very casual blog. With writing. And uncalled-for fandom raving on rare occasion.